5.How Your Family Handled Love, Anger, Etc.
How your family handled big emotions — like anger — can shed some light on how you might act in your relationship going forward. “This isn’t a crystal ball, but it does provide insight into the programming and modeling [you may have] experienced,” therapist Jessi Leader, MA, LAMFT, tells Bustle.
So share what you’ve been through, and ask your partner to share, too. “This gives the couple an opportunity to take inventory of what they liked and didn’t like about their unique model of partnerships,” Leader says. “Having conversations about your values, what you want to change, and what your definition of an active partnership is is incredibly important to longevity and health in a relationship.”
6. How Good (Or Bad) You May Be With Money
Money has a tendency to make or break a relationship, so try to get yourselves on the same page regarding things like debt and spending habits as soon as possible. “Just like sex, talking about our relationship with money can also be very vulnerable,” sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet tells Bustle. “Sex and money are the ‘third rail’ of relationships. There are often expectations around money (e.g. who pays for dinner, vacations, etc.). To establish trust in the relationship it’s important to have these conversations upfront.”
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